A lesson is an event (something or someone) that you learn from - thereby becoming more knowledgeable and wiser from it.

A trap is an event  (something or someone) that holds you down against your will... keeps you fixated, unable to move away from it, grow from it or separate yourself from it.

For an event in the past to truly be a lesson, you must understand the following about it:

1. It is a specific moment in the past and that is where it belongs.... in the past
2. It does not necessarily dictate the future - so don't copy and paste it into the future
3. How you react to future events must not be blindly dictated by the result of your actions in the past.
4. Do not wear your past as tainted shades for viewing the present or your future.

An event in the past becomes a trap when:

1. You use it as a main yardstick for analysing and defining future events
2. You tattoo the experience in your heart... and allow it to define you and how you react to other events in the future

A classical example of a trap which looks like a lesson is as follows:

You fall in love with someone... head over heels... show 100% loyalty and submit yourself totally in love... then... the person betrays you... rubs your face in the mud and dumps you in a hard way... it hurts... it burns... it is unbearable... you become ill... unable to eat... unable to function... then... you "learn your lesson".. and you promise never to totally fall in love "like this" again... so that you don't get hurt like this again... You wont easily trust people again... and you won't allow yourself to be this hurt again...

TRAP!

What should have been a lesson has now become a trap... you are now unable to love freely anymore.. unable to view other potential lovers without tainting them with your experience... they are all potential cheats... deceits... instead of potential lovers. You have trapped yourself in the past and not given yourself an opportunity to love again... breath again... you did nothing wrong in the previous relationship... for loving with all your heart isn't a mistake... it's a virtue... being hurt is a part of the love experience (see love and pain)... you cant have the sweet with no sour (thanks K'nan) .... its incomplete...

Perhaps you will love again... in such a way that all previous experiences will be obliterated and seem insignificant...

Any experience in the past, that you dictate your future character based on it, is a trap... And the worst traps are those that present themselves as lessons. You think you grow from them... but you are imprisoned by them.

Every moment is new and every moment requires a new analysis... No moment should "carry the burden of another" and you shouldn't place the burden created by some on the innocent others...

So live each moment... appreciate every moment... and give each moment its due.. its worth... and that is 100% of you.