Forgiveness is an act of nobility… in fact, it is an attribute that the Divine has assigned to Himself and named himself multiple names bearing this meaning (Al-Ghaafir, Al-Ghafoor, Al-Ghaffaar, Al-Afuww and others).
The dictionary (https://www.dictionary.com/browse/forgive) definitions are as follows:
- to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve.
- to give up all claim on account of; remit (a debt, obligation, etc.).
- to grant pardon to (a person).
- to cease to feel resentment against: to forgive one's enemies.
In the context of this writing, forgiveness is, at the very least, to remove all rancour from your heart regarding the one that has truly offended you or taken away your right(s). I say truly so as to differentiate from the one you think has offended you - whereas there is no offence in reality.
With forgiveness, there are three levels:
The “Islam” level: This is where you remove all negative emotions related to the person that has wronged you from your heart but you do not resume “normal” relations with the offender.
At this level, you do not seek any revenge and you absolve the offender regarding all that they have done to hurt you. In reality, this is primarily (not only) a self-care act because the negative emotions live within you. You suffer a lot of pain from the presence of these emotions and to remove them from your heart will benefit you first before anyone else.
This level of forgiveness might be the highest possible for certain types of crimes where the sight of the offender triggers deep wounds and trauma. As such, for self preservation, you forgive the person in your heart, but you do not treat the person the same way you used to treat them before they harmed you / betrayed your trust.
As we have the best of examples in our Prophet ﷺ, an example of this level is the story of Wahshi as narrated below (by Wahshi from Ibn Hisham’s seerah):
After the battle of Uhud, I continued to live in Makkah for quite a long time until the Muslims conquered Makkah. I then ran away to Ta’if, but soon Islam reached that area as well. I heard that however grave the crime of a person might be, [God] forgave him. I, therefore, reached [Muhammad ﷺ] with Shahadatayn on my lips. Muhammad ﷺ saw me and said "Are you the same Wahshi, the Ethiopian?" I replied in the affirmative. Thereupon he said: "How did you kill Hamza ibn Abd al-Muttalib?" I gave an account of the matter. Muhammad ﷺ was moved and said: "I should not see your face until you are resurrected, because the heart-rending calamity fell upon my uncle at your hands". It is explained by Islamic scholars that the reason for Wahshi avoiding Muhammad, was not out of continued anger against Wahshi, but in case Wahshi interpreted a look on the face of Muhammad as anger for him, which would therefore make him distraught. Wahshi says: "So long as Muhammad ﷺ was alive I kept myself hidden from him…”
The “Iman” level: This is where you forgive the person who has truly offended you and you resume normal relations with the person. If you used to visit them weekly before the offence, then you continue to visit them weekly after forgiving the offence. If you used to call them daily before the offence and speak with them for an hour, then you continue to call them daily after forgiving the offence and still speak with them for an hour. At this level, you truly wipe away the offence from your heart in a way that it leaves no traces at all. The one who does this when there is no personal / material / worldly benefit from resuming normal relations is truly a believer in God - and by this action, has proven their belief in doing things only for God. It’s a big effort to remove negative emotions associated with a wrong action from one’s heart… to follow this with resuming normal relations is truly an act of faith for which only The Bestower of Faith (Al-Mu’min) can reward.
Allah says in the Quran [Al-Jathiya:14]
قُل لِّلَّذِينَ آمَنُوا يَغْفِرُوا لِلَّذِينَ لَا يَرْجُونَ أَيَّامَ اللَّهِ لِيَجْزِيَ قَوْمًا بِمَا كَانُوا يَكْسِبُونَ
Tell all who have attained to faith that they should forgive those who do not believe in the coming of the Days of God, [since it is] for Him [alone] to requite people for whatever they may have earned.
وَإِذَا مَا غَضِبُوا هُمْ يَغْفِرُونَ
and who, whenever they are moved to anger, readily forgive;
[Ash-Shura:37]:
The Ihsan Level: This is where you not only remove all negative emotions regarding the offence, but you actually treat the offender in a better way after forgiving them compared to how you used to deal with them before the offence. Not only do you forgive, you start to show excellence to the person in a way that exceeds how you used to treat them before.
About this level, Allah says [Fussilat:34 -35]:
وَلَا تَسْتَوِي الْحَسَنَةُ وَلَا السَّيِّئَةُ ادْفَعْ بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ فَإِذَا الَّذِي بَيْنَكَ وَبَيْنَهُ عَدَاوَةٌ كَأَنَّهُ وَلِيٌّ حَمِيمٌ
And not alike are the good and the evil. Repel (evil) with what is best, when lo! he between whom and you was enmity would be as if he were a warm friend.
وَمَا يُلَقَّاهَا إِلَّا الَّذِينَ صَبَرُوا وَمَا يُلَقَّاهَا إِلَّا ذُو حَظٍّ عَظِيمٍ
And none are made to receive it but those who are patient, and none are made to receive it but those who have a mighty good fortune.
As is evident in the verses above, this is a position reserved for the elect of the elect… those who are truly special… those who wish to show excellence as Allah has shown them excellence (وَ أَحْسِنْ كَمَاأَحْسَنَ اللهُ إلَيْكَ). This is because when Allah forgives, He showers His Mercy on the one being forgiven such that they are elevated to a rank higher than they were before. He forgives and showers His Mercy (غَفورٌ رَحيمٌ) He also loves those that repent to Him often (إنَّ اللهَ يُحِبُّ التَّوَّابينَ - Indeed Allah loves those who regularly repent to Him)
The people who occupy this rank and exhibit this level of forgiveness are truly embellished by Allah with His attributes and as such are able to show excellence, even to those that harm them… An example of this from the seerah is when the Prophet ﷺ said on the day of the conquest of Makkah “Anyone who enters the house of Abu Sufyan is safe” - this is the same Abu Sufyan that exiled him ﷺ, fought against him in many wars, tortured and killed many of his companions - yet he ﷺ chose to not only forgive him when in a position of power and able to exact revenge, but also honour him by declaring his house a safe haven for others.
These people never attributed the harm they received to the worldly means (the offender), but they realised that all is from their beloved (Say: Everything is from God Quran 4 vs. 78). As such, they see each tribulation as a. real opportunity to draw closer to Him and show patience and gratitude by showing excellence to the means by which this tribulation is brought to them (the offender). They also consider the offender as a human like them and as such, they treat them the same way they want Allah to deal with them when they fall short (I.e. with excellence after forgiveness). These are those who worship God as though they see Him. May Allah make us of them and beloved by them.
